I’m having a real issue this week with people who just don’t get simple logic. It seems to exist in every aspect of my life and honestly, I just don’t understand how there can be some many fucktards in this universe.
It started with my childhood with Vengeful Mother and her inability to consider my feelings and opinions, even if she doesn’t agree with them. It’s ever present in the current political culture as examined in my previous post. But it’s a constant factor in my work life.
I’ve written before about my hatred of my job, but just case you’re not up to speed let me tell you:
I HATE MY JOB!!!!!
Last week I brought up an issue in our departmental staff meeting that I knew full well would blow up into a free-for-all hate fest, but that’s just what it needed to be. I work in a department of only five people, including me, and we’re enclosed in a small space smaller than some of your apartments. There’s the Fitness Freak Financial Analyst who is clearly dissatisfied with her job. She does a pretty good job of playing her cards close to the vest but she’s let it slip a few times that she’s not happy in her job, that she’s been assigned too much work that doesn’t pertain to her job duties, not to mention doesn’t pertain to our department. She isn’t happy with the way things are managed in our environment, and I can’t say that I blame her.
Then there’s Country Dumbkin, our Conference Coordinator. She’s 3006 years old and has the intelligence of a four year old. She’s Passive Aggressive and immature and she is always catered too by our department manager. She gets special treatment and whenever there’s a disagreement between her and another person (or about her) the other person is always told to be nicer to her, to give her a break, to be more understanding, etc., etc.
There’s the Unsvelt Girl Who Runs. She’s the department “Adminary” but she’s not really all that valuable. Not because she’s not valuable, but because she’s not treated with a whole lot of respect. Country Dumbkin does UGWR’s job on a whim, but only if she likes the person. People call her directly for things that should be brought to UGWR. Oh, and then CD complains about having too much work to do and not being able to get her own job done in a timely manner because she’s always “having” to do UGWR’s job.
And of course let us not forget Douche Bag. DB is our department manager, though it’s hard to call him “manager” with a straight face, or without gagging. DB’s job is to manager his people, to keep the peace, to keep things moving smoothly, oh!, and to set a good example. In truth DB is a male chauvinist, he’s passive aggressive, he’s forgetful, he’s unreliable, he’s oblivious and he’s a “Yes man”. If you’ve read my blog in the past, these are probably not revelations for you.
As a rule of thumb, I go into the office everyday, trying my hardest to avoid people, and situations because they all end up being frustrations and illogical. Douche Bag in many ways is the worst offender, but after last weeks staff meeting, I actually thought maybe, JUST MAYBE, there was a chance that things had finally come to light. After suggesting a reasonable solution to a major problem we have, (closing our office at lunch time so we don’t have coverage issues – the solution, not the problem) and Country Dumbkin launched into her anticipated rant, DB finally acknowledged that there were probably bigger issues at hand and that we should meet individually so that we could candidly discuss our issues.
I met with Douche Bag and I laid it on the line for him. I explained the issues with Country Dumbkin, the issues between Unsvelt Girl and CD and the fact that UG doesn’t feel comfortable talking to him about it because every time she does he comes down on her and makes promises, he doesn’t keep. Nothing ever changes. The conversation went on for more than an hour and when it was finished he promised to make this his top priority and let everything else go until things were resolved. And then he blinked his eyes and it was all forgotten.
Today, Douche Bag has been unreasonably hostile to everyone and he even laid into Unsvelt Girl as she was walking out the door, already off the clock, because he didn’t like the way something looked that she didn’t even do.
It’s true what they say. The fish really does rot from the head down. And my company is a fuckin’ great white whale! (They still count as fish, right?) Everywhere I turn, there are attitudes, and egos, and complexes galore! This place is run on emotion and self-centeredness and self-righteousness, pompousness and arrogance, manipulation and superiority complexes. Everyone is a yes man, and the only way to stay afloat is to be just as manipulative and demanding and self-absorbed as the person above you.
Now I understand that, I probably sound like I’m the one with problem (If everyone in the world is crazy except myself, then I probably need to take another look) and that it would be easier, at least in theory, if I stop resisting and “go with the flow.” But I just can’t do that. I believe, in all sincerity, that the actions that come about in this place, the way people behave based on these attitudes is ethically wrong (sometimes, maybe even morally.) It’s not OK to treat one person with higher priority than another. It’s not OK to set precedence for one group and turn around and say, “no” to another. It’s not OK to bury your head in the sand while your peers – or teammates – tear each other apart and then pretend that everything is fine. And if I allow myself to be swayed, to be convinced to participate in this behavior, I’m compromising myself and my principles for something I don’t believe in, or care about. I can’t do that. I WON’T do that.
The logo for the hell hole of a company I work for is a representation of three people of varying heights with what is supposed to be rays of sunshine washing over them. The logo’s official name within the company is “The Sunshine Family.” A few years ago I had the opportunity to work briefly with a Project Manager who was also an Interior Designer with great artistic ability. In one of our meetings for a project she sketched out the logo for purposes of demonstrating something we’d been discussing. She referred to “The Sunshine Family” as “the burning people” because that’s more along the lines of what it looks like. Well, I must say that “the burning people” has always stuck in my head because it’s feels so right.
This company is HELL, and the people in it are burning, they just don’t know it yet.
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