In Search of an Old Friend

Ok.  I know this is a shot in the dark but I’m trying to locate an old friend…

Ten or so years ago, I was working as a store manager at a J. Riggings (now defunct) store in the Northwest Arkansas Mall in Fayetteville, Arkansas.  I had an Assistant Manager named Christopher Newberry (Middle name Anthony, I think.)  Chris is gay and was the first and only true gay friend I’ve ever had.

When I quit my job, Chris took over from me as manager.  A few months after that Chris was promoted to a bigger store and moved to Tulsa, Oklahoma where I grew up.  It just so happened that this was a few weeks before I moved to California.  I haven’t seen or spoken to Chris since then. 

I’d really like to touch base with Chris again, but I don’t know where he is or how to find him.  I don’t think I have enough personal information to justify spending the money for a locater service. 

So I thought I’d take a shot in the dark and ask if anybody knows Chris (or if Chris happens to see this).  I’d like to make contact with him again. 

Can anyone help?

Thank you!

I Did the Right Thing?

Ok.  So, it’s late.  I’m drunk and I shoulda been in bed a long time ago, so I’ll make this quick…

I was instant messaging earlier this eveng with a 14 year old kid I met through an on-line support group type website….  He’s a nice looking kid, and most of our conversation was about his relationship with his parents now that he’s come out to them…

Toward the end of our conversation, though, he mentioned that he was horney and looking for someone to get him off.  He was clear that he wanted me to be that someone…  But I wouldn’t work with him because he’s a child and I’m an adult and I know better thatn to get involved in a child’s world…

He kept insisting that it was ok…  That I can’t get in trouble for on-line conversations…  But I told him, cute as he is, it wasn’t worth the risk for me…  he’s just too young…

What does the world at large think?  I pretty much know that I did the right thing by not getting involved….  But did I have anything to be afraid of?

It’d be good to know.  It’s also good to CYA!!!! 

Down a Peg

While at the event at Tres Agaves last week, I won a prize by knowing the answer to the question “Matty has two pets.  What are their names?”  He has a dog named “Kelly Clarkson” and a cat named “Colonel Fuzby.”  The prize I won was passes to “The Front of the Mixer” for the radio station’s concert in Golden Gate park, called “Summerthing.”  I wasn’t really interested in going to the concert, but these passes got me special treatment, or so I thought.  It was a reserved seating area with bean bag chairs to sit on and the bean bag chairs got to come home with me. 

Before the event at Tres Agaves was over the male host of the morning show “No Name” (AKA Mike Nelson) offered Majority VIP Passes to the concert.  Unsvelt Girl Who Runs said that she could probably get M&M and me in, too.   I do love being “special”.  Over the last few weeks I’ve started feeling better about myself and feeling like maybe I’ve finally started to be accepted. 

Today, I was reminded that I’m not really so special.  That I’m not especially accepted. 

OK.  So I’m being hard on myself, and in truth, I’m not letting this have that much of an affect on me.  But here’s the thing, I went to this event because there was to be free stuff and because there was to be special treatment.  I was going to be one of the “cool kids” with special treatment and hanging out with friends.  I sure wasn’t there for the music (a bunch of musicians I don’t know anything about.)

Well, I was able to make it to the event, I got to my special seating, found my free bean bag chair…  And that was it!  Then I contacted UGWR, met up with her and her family and we made our way to the VIP area.  Well, after all is said and done, M&M and I weren’t able to get into the VIP area, while UGWR et. al. did.  And there seemed no hurry to inform us of this or any desire to spend time with us outside the VIP area that we weren’t admitted to.

I guess it all just sucks.  Oh well.

Round two

There was another, and I think truly, final event for the morning show Producer (Matty) last night.  Next week is his last week on the show so I suppose there’s time for one more spur of the moment event, but I doubt it.  I went with my friends Unsvelt Girl Who Runs and M&M.  Marjority  and Tag-Along came and M&M brought a co-worker, who, to me looks just like Anna Gasteyer.  I seemed to be the life of the party sort of, which is really strange to me.  I’m told that I have been accepted into the inner sanctum.  Matty hugged me when we were leaving (I’m pretty sure he hugged everyone) but UGWR said, “You must be in.  Matty touched you.”

Now understand that this post is less about my sexuality and the fact that this guy may or may not have “hit on me” last week and more about my own lack of self confidence and social fears that usually prevent me from putting myself in these situations.  Don’t get me wrong.  Matty is cute and he got his hair cut again and it looks even better.  And he’s lost a lot of weight and looks better than he used to…  But he’s still a pudge.  And that’s not what this is about anyway. 

The minute I walked into the venue, I made eye contact with Matty and he mouthed something to me.  The only word I got was “head” which sounds better — or worse — Or better…  Well it depends on your perspective…  than it was.  I was simultaneously trying to figure out what he had said, AND trying to show my ID to the lady at the door and get my hand stamped.  So I missed what he said and absent-mindedly held my hand out to the lady with my ID still in my wallet which was in my other hand.  

Later, as Matty was running by me, I asked him what he’d said, “I like your head” was the response I got.  (I started shaving my head earlier this year and it was still somewhat fresh looking last night…  But I had shaved my head last week too.  Not sure he remembers that.)

Mostly, I’m just not accustomed to being noticed and acknowledged by “the cool kids.”  Now, he has ”snuggled” with me, hugged me, complemented my head AND I’m invited to his house for a joint birthday party for him and Majority.  OK, technically I’m invited to Majority’s birthday party… By Unsvelt Girl… But it’s still at Matty’s house and I get to go.  And apparently Matty lives in a gayborhood so maybe I’ll meet some new friends…  Maybe not.

I don’t know when this party is (except that it’s in July) and I’ll likely start freaking out again by the time it gets here, but whatever.  I’ll cross one bridge at a time. 

Unexpected Outing

I hadn’t actualy planned on doing so any time soon, but I ended up coming out to Unsvelt Girl Who Runs today.  She was in my office and we were having one of our MANY random conversations when the subject of gays came up.

“I wish I had a gay friend,” said UGWR, “They’re usually just as catty as I am.”

“Actually, you do.” I said.

“I do?” she asked, confused.  “Am I aware of this?”

I smiled, “Well, you weren’t.”

She quickly changed the subject and brought up her former co-worker, Margalo, the one I previously heard her talk about and had the reaction that made me quetion whether coming out to Unsvelt Girl was the right thing to do.

After a few minutes of Margalo conversation, I said, “See, I can’t tell if you’re glossing over what I just said, or if you’re not understanding what I just said.” 

“I’m not sure I understand.” she said as she continuted to converse/monopolize the conversation.  I became a bit anxious about what that meant and if I was going to have to decide whether to explain it or not, when she said, “Why did we decide to share today?”

“It was time?” I replied.  Unsvelt Girl has no gaydar and in her earlier days, dated a number of guys who turned out later to be gay.  She equates it with her lack of an internal compass….

I asked her, “Given your…  lack of sense of direction…  does this come as a surprise to you?”

“Not really.” she said.  “You’re very… fastideous.  I can’t really put my finger on it.  I’m just not surprised.” 

Later, afer this conversation had come to a natural conclusion, I asked her, via Instant message, “It’s because I added Clay Aiken as my very first albun to my first iPod isn’t it?” 

She laughed and said, “That’s it.  Becuase, you know, every one who…  Is…  does that…!”

I think that means she’s ok with things and acepts them as the are…